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December 7, 2006
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Conservative Christianity by Eshto Conservative Christianity by Eshto
Political cartoon that was published in the Badger Herald, a campus newspaper here in Madison. Printed Tuesday, February 7, 2006.

The context of this is important. I was pretty active in the fight against the constitutional ban on gay marriage and civil unions in my state. I wrote editorials and attended a lot of debates, including a public hearing at the state capitol.

I heard ALL of these ideas and much, much more (and worse) come straight from the mouths of the conservative politicians, religious leaders and average joes who supported this limitation on the rights of LGBT people. This includes Gundrum and Fitzgerald, the two lawmakers who wrote the amendment; Julaine Appling, leader of the Family Research Institute, an anti-gay group here in Wisconsin; a conservative lawyer who, I swear to god, said that it is ridiculous tha equality would apply to everyone (???); a crazy old man who said his Bible talks to him and that gay people caused hurricane Katrina.

So there are a few conservatives and/or Christians who take issue with this cartoon. Well you know what pal, if this upsets you, and if you don't feel this represents you or your beliefs, then it's not me you should be taking issue with. It's your leaders, and the homophobia ingrained in your cultures.
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:iconvoltex12345:
Voltex12345 Featured By Owner May 17, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
boy these conservatives are really something huh?
they're obsessed with a fetus from successful conception to 9 months
after that they don't want to know about you, don't wanna hear from you, NOTHING!
no natal care,
no day care,
no head start,
no school lunch,
no food stamps,
no well fare,
no NOTHING!!!

if you're pre-born you're precious
if you're pre-schooled, you're fucked

conservatives don't give a shit about you until you reach MILITARY AGE!
THEN they think you're just fine XD
JUST what they're looking for


Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers, grow them up to believe that throwing your life away in a horrific, bloody and brutally way because of a war that was caused by one president insulting the other president's tie is "honorable" somehow
they choose to serve, (well actually their parents and the government pressures them to) and then they get all surprised that they come back without a leg.
or that their friends are in coffins. i share absolutely no sympathy for people who participate in a war willingly.
fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

but back to this pro life shit.
"pro life" my ass, they are killing doctors!
what? they'll do anything they can to save a fetus but if it grows up to be a doctor they "just might have to kill it"?
they are not pro live, they are anti-woman!

SIMPLE AS IT GETS!

they believe a woman's primary function is to serve as a nursing device for the state

you don't see any of these white, anti abortion women voluntarily having any black fetuses transplanted into their uteruses do you?
or adopting a whole lot of crack babies do you?
no, of course not, that sounds more like something CHRIST would do...
ok now IS a fetus a human being? (that seems to be the central question)
well if they are, how come the sentences don't count them?
how come if they have a miscarriage, they don't have a funeral?
how come people say "we have 2 children and one on the way" instead of saying "we have 3 children"?
people say life begins at conception,
i say life began in the oceans billions of years ago and it's a continuous process!
you shouldn't look for consistency in thee anti-abortion arguments, trust me, you won't find any.

see the really hardcore people will tell you that "life begins at fertilization" when the sperm fertilizes the egg
which is usually a few moments before the guy says "gee i'm sorry honey, i was gonna pull out but the phone rang and it startled me"
but even after the egg is fertilized, it STILL takes six or seven days before it reaches the uterus and pregnancy begins, and not many egg make it that far
80% of fertilized eggs are flushed out of her body once a month during those "delightful few days she has" (that's another "treat" for the gall)

they end up on sanitary napkins and yet, they are in fact: "fertilized eggs"

so basically what these pro life ass-holes are telling us is that any woman who has had more than one period is a serial killer! call them the Genocide causers why don't you? XD

but ok, if they REALLY wanna get serious on this, what about all the sperm that is wasted when a state executes a condemned man and one of these pro life guys is watching and ejaculates in his pants huh?
here's a guy with his jockey shorts full of Vinnies and Debbies, and nobody's saying a word to the guy.... not every ejaculation deserves a name!

oh, speaking of consistency:
catholics (which i was until i reached the age of reason) and other Christians are against both abortion and homosexuals...
WELL WHO HAS LESS ABORTIONS THAN HOMOSEXUALS!? XD
leave these poor people alone for pete's sake!
you'd think they'd make natural allies

and to my friends the catholics :D (Big Grin)
when John Joseph'O Connor, the popes and all of these other bishops, pastors, priests and fathers experience their first traumatizing rape experiences, their first pregnancies, their first labor pains and then have raised a couple of 7 children on a minimum wage, working 2 full time jobs, for less payment than your male co-workers who never miss a chance to slap your ass whenever they can and even get demanded to give your fat, bald, butt ugly boss an occasional blow-job if you wanna keep your job...
THEN i'll be glad to hear what ever they have to say against abortion, pretty sure it'd be quite interesting.

And OH! In the meantime we should tell these priests, who took a vow of chastity, to keep their hands off the altar-boys.
when Jesus said "suffer the little children, COME on to me" THAT'S NOT WHAT HE WAS TALKING ABOUT!!!

if you think a fetus is more important than a woman, try getting a fetus to wash the shit stains out of your underwear...
... for no pay and no pension.
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:iconpaphilly:
PAPhilly Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2014
So, how was Occupy...?

It's comical how little you understand us =P (Razz) 

Seriously, you don't even have to believe what they're saying, but just LISTEN to a conservative news source and see what we ACTUALLY believe, instead of praising CNN and MSNBC for saying what they want you to think Conservatives  are all about rather than actually telling you.

Oh, and we're very pro-life, pro-independence and pro-job. Welfare should be temporary, LIFE is precious, before birth unto death.

War is a necessary evil that no man should have to go through. It is bloody, it is brutal and it grinds a man (or woman) down; but it's a necessary evil. If those brave men and women didn't go and serve with honor overseas, they'd have to serve HERE, in the United States, fighting back our enemies on our own soil. I'd prefer my grandfathers and uncles having fought in Vietnam and Korea rather than in Philadelphia and New York!

Killing doctors? I haven't the slightest clue what you are talking about; doctors are absolutely vital to sustained human civilization; who in their right mind would think of killing them?

Women nursing for the state? WHAT? Apparently you've never heard of the thousands of women serving overseas, such as Kim Campbell and Jessica Lynch. Women should have full equality in American society, a far cry from the superiority Democrats whine for. Black fetuses? Again, what? That has no bearing on this, as the woman's immune system would probably reject ANY fetus not her own as hostile, much like a wrong blood type transfusion or a wrong kidney transplant. Miscarried babies do sometimes have funeral rites, but they can't put the baby in the ground because, in case your "open mind" can't wrap around this, the baby's corpse is inside of the mother. And the sentence "two children and one on the way" is just an expression used to show that the child is unborn, as in not out of the mother's uterus yet. And no, we're not calling mothers who have their "time of the month" serial killers; in fact, that just seems like mud-smearing to me. If you're going to bash the Republican Party for its beliefs, at least use valid points, thank-you.

We're not against homosexuals or even the practice of homosexuality; we just don't think that they should be allowed to marry. Although, personally, I disagree with that notion because although I may disagree with it, I have no right to trample on their lives for that notion.


God in his infinite wisdom works THROUGH evolution and the two aren't mutually exclusive. Oh, and I do find the priests that take advantage of children vile and disgusting, but they are a small minority.

You have all the right in the world to disagree with me; or at least in the United States; and I fully accept that. I don't agree with what you're saying (it doesn't make much sense, for that matter) but I will defend to the death your right to say it. Have a nice day, ma'am/sir.
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:iconel-drago-800:
El-Drago-800 Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014
:iconbillmaherplz::iconsaysplz:There's always a good, moral, Christian reason to tell everyone you meet to fuck off and die.
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:iconlordelthibar:
LordElthibar Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2013
Liberal=Non-Christian
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:iconkaptin-kudzu:
Kaptin-Kudzu Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2013
I'm a conservative Christian and some of my best friends are homosexuals! Yes, I do believe that homosexual acts are wrong, but I don't think it is worse than any other sexual sin (Ie- a Christian man lusting after a woman that he isn't married to)
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:iconravens-of-rome:
Ravens-of-Rome Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconthisplz::iconfreeinternetplz:
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:iconholothewisewolf347:
Holothewisewolf347 Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I agree with u.
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:iconkaptin-kudzu:
Kaptin-Kudzu Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013
Thanks :) It seems like lots of people don't agree with us, eh? :/
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:iconholothewisewolf347:
Holothewisewolf347 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Sadly true :( It's funny how people can be offended and can go against Christians, but us Christians can't be offended or go against other people's beliefs because it would hurt other people's feelings.......stupidity I say. And I thought this was America.
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